Parents from simple and basic background proff to be the best parents and not the siblings.

From advance level adjusting to a much simpler life style and environment is not easy

    Growing up and attended school although more than half century ago, but the scar of leaving home town and going through life in a miserable environment almost halF century and more and yet this place which has already been ones place after half century still remains back ward and one need to go through with the flow , with heavy heart. This is what I have been experiencing in  a place which I have made my place since 27 years ago, after married and followed my husband. From a far advanced community and town to a most back ward or very rural place in a state , which is not any ones choice to buy property or settle permanently, unless the runaways and the migrants and those who find a shelter for them.           Both of us me and my husband found a shelter here and started our life, with out any savings  or a roof to name. Our kids were born here , grew up in simple environment, attended school and completed school  and they had their own friends and members. 

   Almost after 15 years we were helpless, no one to refer to, no relatives , once is a blue moon my brother visited  us. Every holidays I packed my clothing's and my kids and headed to either my siblings place or my in  laws place . We hardly spent holidays here in this place, which is to me a hidden world which has not been explored by the experts.

    I never ever dreamed or thought in my life much earlier, that I will be stranded at a place like this, Im shocked to learn that most of the communities have not really learnt about their own culture and mastered the daily language they use , not to mentioned about the way of life. Simple dialects and literary not in common use, many still use the ancient currency  word  " kupang"  in their daily life rather than cent. There no word such as exchanging ideas or to teach about something to friends or sharing , even the  students seems to be business oriented to teachers and try to market their products. Everyone is  materialistic and no spiritual or very less spiritual situations I came across here.
     Probably people are not really educated and they just want to market their product and make profit out of it.At this isolated place I bought everything from curry leaves, lemon grass, tumeric, fruits flowers, everytrhing was maney until I found solution all by myself after almost 10 years, to overcome this situation.

Our Exposures become our Expereinces

     

        When talking about experiences, I would like to recall my experience  about the exposure one gets, either from their own siblings, family members , friends , neighbors or people whom they meet.My life experiences are mostly from childhood in  my village with my neighbors kids and neighborhood friends. I believe at certain age everyone need to be given choice to decide or to determine their future. Something I found weird  growing as a an adolescent and when I turned into an adult at 21, I thought I  have my rights to decide my future and to pursue my interest.  


        If a father talks to his child, he will make sure his child choose what is best with his blessings, but in older siblings case especially ladies seems to be domineering even though their educational qualification  do not seems  to meet the younger siblings level. Once I was faced in that difficult situation and I was not given a choice by the older siblings especially the older lady who was controlling the whole family.


   

   What I had learnt whether the particular girl agrees or not but need to obey the older siblings choice without choice given. Until the older sibling threatened the younger sister that she will commit suicide and cant face her mother inlaw if her younger sister do not follow her wishes. This is what has been going on in many Hindu families for generations. Most the older sisters want is that the younger sister must get married off to some one far away and leave the family , so she can get most of the brothers attention and care. Due to certain unemphatic sisters interference in many younger sisters life and future, many live a life for  name sake and not the life they wished or the future that they hoped.


        There are special girls and gifted children being neglected by their own siblings due to their selfishness after married. What I have learnt growing up as a child, the home of a child seems peaceful as long all the siblings are single and in the presence of their parents. In the absence of the parents,the younger siblings   future is not predictable. Many talented youths  suppose to be successful in education and in life much earlier, but due to the older siblings control they  suffer life long and till their late years in life , due to life fixed by the adults and controlled by them, Those who left their family and live on their own seems far more successful than by those who have been controlled by their siblings.